the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
