Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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