the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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