Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
