And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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