Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
