I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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