So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
