so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize