fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize