Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
