Im at strip club and am horny
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
