You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize