Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
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