sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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