someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
