if you like me you must not know who I am
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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