I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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