I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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