I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
