I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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