my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
