Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I need water and some morals
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
