wrigley field is MILF paradise
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
