I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
They have beer where we have blood.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize