he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
