Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
