and next time when you feel me up, do it right
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Less talking, more tequila
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
