You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
