Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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