haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
