I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just forgot I was standing up.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
