Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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