Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
