Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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