it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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