member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
