I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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