she was so not down for the gang bang
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We need to rekindle our bromance
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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