Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
