Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
