it's too hot outside to masturbate.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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