My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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