um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
