When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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