Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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