fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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