what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize