Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
