i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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