sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
