Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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