ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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