the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
