That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
