A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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