I wish my penis had an off switch
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
