i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
